Older adults sometimes find it easy to get agitated with their family caregivers. It’s nothing personal, but they’re used to taking care of themselves. Having to rely on your son or daughter is stressful, leading to embarrassment and frustration that causes him to lash out.
Your dad becomes easily frustrated with you. You’re finding his attitude unbearable. When he does, he snaps or makes hurtful comments. How do you respond to him when he’s being temperamental?
Ask Him How He’d Do It
Sometimes, it helps to simply ask your dad what you should do. Don’t be harsh or abrasive. Genuinely ask him if there’s a way you could help him that wouldn’t upset him as much.
When you’ve been trying to help him the best you can, it can help snap him out of his agitation by asking him what he would do in your shoes. He’s probably helped his own mom or dad in the past and will remember how hard it was for him.
Move On to a Different Task
It might be best to move to a different task for now. Some things can’t be avoided, such as taking a morning medication. But, other tasks, like making a bed, aren’t essential. If your dad is particularly grumpy about you making his bed, skip that item and move to the next thing on the to-do list.
He might be agitated over the food you’ve made. It happens. Have a backup in the fridge and let him choose one of two options.
If you made an omelet for breakfast and he refuses, offer him a container of overnight oats that you have on hand. He might prefer a bowl of cereal with fresh fruit. It becomes his choice, and he may be less agitated if he feels that he’s in control.
Step Away For a Few Minutes
Sometimes, you need to step into another room or to a back deck or patio. Take some deep cleansing breaths before you go back inside and try to help your dad again. If you know any Yoga poses or stretches, do that for a few minutes.
If it’s overwhelming, it’s time to take a closer look at respite care. With home care, a professional caregiver helps your dad while you take a break. Go for a long walk, go to the movies, or have lunch with friends. Make sure you spend the time focused on things you like doing to help you unwind.
Everyone has a bad day from time to time. Your dad’s frustration is understandable, but it can be stressful when you’re the one trying to calm him. Take a break. Hire home care services to give you a break, and the change of pace may also help your dad. Call a home care specialist to get started.